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In spite of how usually we heard it, the language that is brutal also a conscientious son like Nate utilized to spell it out intimate contact—you hit that!—always unnerved me.

It is perhaps maybe not like We imagined men would gush about making sweet, sweet want to the women, but why ended up being their language so weaponized ? The clear answer, we arrived to think, had been that locker-room talk is not about intercourse after all, and that’s why dudes were ashamed to talk about it freely beside me. The (often clearly exaggerated) stories men tell are actually about energy: utilizing violence toward females for connecting also to validate the other person as heterosexual, or even to claim top spots into the adolescent sexual hierarchy. Dismissing that as “banter” denies the methods that language can desensitize—abrade boys’ capability to see girls as individuals worthy of respect and dignity in intimate encounters.